Update: November 2022
I wrote my last blog in September just after being diagnosed with POI. Since then I’ve been getting my head round what’s happening inside my body and most importantly getting used to changing my HRT patch (twice a week) and taking my Progesterone tablets each evening.
I’m an absolute nightmare when it comes to remembering to do things like this so I have been trying my best to get into a routine.
So how has the last 6 weeks been?
I’m not entirely sure how to answer that one.
My hot flushes have pretty much stopped and my sleep seems a little bit better and my period is back ??.
But I am still really struggling with my back.
NB my lower back has been causing my pain and instability for around 4-5 months and I feel like I have tried EVERYTHING including;
- sports massage
- ibuprofen every night
- sleeping with pillow between my legs
Which in turn means that I struggle with keeping my mental health on a level.
Not being able to run and train at the gym like I would normally has really thrown me. It’s made me realise how much my week is built around these things. Without them I don’t do anything else apart from sit and work from home. Running and fitness has become more than seeing how far I can push myself physically. It is how I get out of the house and catch up with friends too.
So I’ve found it pretty hard a little isolating to be honest.
For the first time in a long time I have felt my mood slipping and heading towards a place that I don’t want it to revisit.
I have moments when I catch myself thinking ‘just give up and accept that your body obviously just can’t run anymore’ and I feel so sad and frustrated when I let those thoughts overwhelm me.
Then I’ll dust myself off, tell myself I do have some sort of control and do a load of pilates and yoga sessions on you tube and I feel better for feeling able to affect it.
But the pain never really changes and it’s sometimes hard to keep the positivity going.
I had my DEXA scan this weekend. The purpose of which is to measure my bone density (par for the course for those with low estrogen levels before their time) so perhaps that will highlight something that we can fix?
So – I find myself writing this to you today trying to keep positive. Keeping active in new ways and meeting up with friends for walks and cups of tea.
I’ve been back onto the Doctor (who again has been absolutely fantastic) and referred me to the muscular skeletal clinic for some further investigation. I really hope the next time I write it’ll be with some positive steps forward in getting back to normal.
For now, if you are fit and well and able to run then go and run for me! If not and it’s feeling hard, know that you aren’t alone and we will get through this rubbish phase and be back running soon.